I Am Not A Racist

Note: This post is meant to be sarcastic, so please don’t panic.

Let me get this off my chest because it has been bothering me for a while:

White lives matter! Right, I said it. I don’t hate Blacks, Asians or Latinos. I just love to embrace my European heritage. What is so wrong with that?

Loving your race and wanting people to make more white babies than any other race so we can have more whites dominating the world doesn’t make you a white supremacist.

What? Everyone knows the white race has been under attack for centuries. But wait…Don’t tell me you are going to continue perpetrating the idea that Blacks and Jews suffered more than our white people? Hell no. It needs to stop, really it has to! Our people have suffered enough. There is way too much Black privilege going around these days.

Do we really have to re-live the past and recall all the painful, torturous memories our ancestors went through?

When our poor ancestors had slaves that got very sick or died, they had less people to work in the cotton fields. Imagine that! Those were indeed challenging days for our people.

What about back in the 50’s or 60’s? Our white kids couldn’t go to school peacefully anymore because suddenly black children wanted to intermix with us in schools. How fair is that for our poor white children? No one ever think of their suffering…

I am NOT racist but what was so wrong with having schools for white children and schools for black children? Everyone is better this way; everyone gets to interact with their own people. How is that racist?!

After reading the awful Church statement with regards to white culture (Brigham Young is watching don’t worry!), going to Church has become beyond stressful. The only thing that makes me feel good is that at least they use white bread for the sacrament. What a relief! They served once Russian black bread but I had no choice but to refuse.

As a matter of fact, I have a terrific idea. We should have each deacon passing the sacrament to each member according to their race. One tray with white bread should be for the white members, another tray with wheat bread for Hispanics and a third tray with Russian black bread for our African-American members.

Now, in order to make things easier for our deacons, we should have White members in front, Hispanics in the middle and Blacks at the back of the chapel. It sounds perfectly logical and reasonable to me.

The reason for whites being in front it is because we are majority in the Church. Check the 12 apostles and the Seventies, most of them are white (And it has been like that from the start!) so the majority rules.

This is something I am seriously considering to talk with my Bishop. Why? Well, you all know how these things start. First, everything seems innocent, with a little black bread here and there during sacrament meeting and then…. Blast! They are giving out Oreo cookies like mad after service. This is how the liberals are operating within the Church. Outrageous!

Of course, their favorite color soda is… Coke! But I don’t have any.

I am NOT racist! I am just a M̶o̶r̶o̶n̶ Mormon!